If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
