So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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