apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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