If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
