kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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