is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
