FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
