Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize