does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
