some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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