Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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