so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am spending my child support on dildos
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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