Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
