I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
