You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
