I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
