Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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