he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
