we're making bets on your personal life
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
