I don't think brook has ever known best
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
