If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
