Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
