ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
