Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.