he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"