I am puke
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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