Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.

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(646): View more from New York

Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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(360): View more from Washington

She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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(315): View more from New York

Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.

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