When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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