yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
