Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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