I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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