why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
