i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
