what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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