ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Randomize