pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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