Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
