were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize