I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
