mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
farters have to be the big spoon...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
