You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
