so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
