Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
