I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka?
Forever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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