umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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