I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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