I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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