And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
