When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
two words: eviction party
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ladies don't puke and tell
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
