I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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