Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will pee on everything he values.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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