I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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