i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
