When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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