He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
