Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im holly from the hills drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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