Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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  (601): She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine. http://tfl.nu/p4hk
  Replies (21) Good night (653) Bad night (3592)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.

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  (817): Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again. http://tfl.nu/k3cq
  Replies (20) Good night (3201) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

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  (845): I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right? http://tfl.nu/k79j
  Replies (2) Good night (3250) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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  (360): This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made. http://tfl.nu/7tve
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed

  (949): View more from California

  Someone's stooooned

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  (714): I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed (949): Someone's stooooned http://tfl.nu/d50z
  Replies (13) Good night (2037) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?

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  (267): There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn? http://tfl.nu/pvdb
  Replies (4) Good night (1461) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.

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  (502): Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high. http://tfl.nu/rams
  Replies (0) Good night (1027) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.

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  (614): Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars. http://tfl.nu/nben
  Replies (0) Good night (995) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)

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  (289): For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013) http://tfl.nu/5uly
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

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  (415): LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking. http://tfl.nu/5t1f
  Replies (10) Good night (454) Bad night (2211)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Which I appreciated.

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  (904): He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me. (904): Which I appreciated. http://tfl.nu/2yf2
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on

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  (936): If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on http://tfl.nu/8phy
  Replies (3) Good night (907) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.

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  (512): I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like. http://tfl.nu/i3mi
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic

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  (865): On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic http://tfl.nu/e5gj
  Replies (2) Good night (239) Bad night (731)

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