Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

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  (925): im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy http://tfl.nu/0d9q
  Replies (19) Good night (2632) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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  (254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social. http://tfl.nu/292p
  Replies (5) Good night (1919) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2339) Bad night (28098)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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  (804): Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great http://tfl.nu/xifb
  Replies (26) Good night (5597) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  clearly you are not from wisconsin

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  (763): dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve (608): clearly you are not from wisconsin http://tfl.nu/j6wr
  Replies (104) Good night (7593) Bad night (776)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more

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  (205): I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more http://tfl.nu/noxu
  Replies (39) Good night (1021) Bad night (5263) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

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  (650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening. http://tfl.nu/kog8
  Replies (18) Good night (5850) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it

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  (603): In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it http://tfl.nu/f0et
  Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (2800)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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  (609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj
  Replies (7) Good night (1214) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

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  (484): there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now. http://tfl.nu/o3be
  Replies (12) Good night (659) Bad night (1508)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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  (+44): I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina. http://tfl.nu/fp84
  Replies (21) Good night (1805) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.

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  (810): I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning. http://tfl.nu/b9vx
  Replies (25) Good night (1361) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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  (785): You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/34h5
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

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  (208): Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often http://tfl.nu/tod9
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights

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  (312): I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights http://tfl.nu/amvj
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt

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