Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.

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  (775): I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK. http://tfl.nu/nxhd
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (868)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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  (318): i was rollin on her like bob the builder http://tfl.nu/6lwa
  Replies (3) Good night (2519) Bad night (670)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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  (609): Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count (1-609): You don't understand. I'm not like you. http://tfl.nu/ja4i
  Replies (25) Good night (2568) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.

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  (704): Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009. http://tfl.nu/cvp3
  Replies (54) Good night (4185) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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  (818): She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again..... http://tfl.nu/lpua
  Replies (5) Good night (2975) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame

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  (310): I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame http://tfl.nu/qjff
  Replies (14) Good night (3472) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

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  (903): I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times. http://tfl.nu/nwwj
  Replies (19) Good night (7547) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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  (563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri
  Replies (10) Good night (5537) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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  (804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy
  Replies (13) Good night (1850) Bad night (1197)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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  (414): Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that? http://tfl.nu/owak
  Replies (11) Good night (1748) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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  (217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk
  Replies (1) Good night (1399) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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  (815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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  (617): Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though. http://tfl.nu/qelj
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

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  (773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63
  Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?

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  (440): How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!? http://tfl.nu/0sun
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (540)

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