Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...

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  (540): I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant... http://tfl.nu/4jrj
  Replies (17) Good night (4069) Bad night (757)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.

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  (306): She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant. http://tfl.nu/96oo
  Replies (27) Good night (1147) Bad night (8648)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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  (512): He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay. http://tfl.nu/se3r
  Replies (25) Good night (1857) Bad night (3280)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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  (905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5
  Replies (12) Good night (1113) Bad night (2522)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.

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  (952): In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves. http://tfl.nu/jfec
  Replies (32) Good night (4610) Bad night (2639)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context

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  (859): there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context http://tfl.nu/uw18
  Replies (4) Good night (2475) Bad night (1012)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"

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  (541): I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice" http://tfl.nu/9e22
  Replies (10) Good night (2768) Bad night (713)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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  (506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl
  Replies (3) Good night (2241) Bad night (574)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls

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  (401): Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls http://tfl.nu/qxtg
  Replies (9) Good night (477) Bad night (1267)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (519)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.

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  (703): Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic. http://tfl.nu/bmqq
  Replies (11) Good night (1473) Bad night (533)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

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  (202): As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap. http://tfl.nu/n79z
  Replies (19) Good night (1421) Bad night (420)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.

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  (610): I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast. http://tfl.nu/ocy2
  Replies (4) Good night (889) Bad night (334)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content

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  (201): I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content http://tfl.nu/y4zd
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (327)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.

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  (407): If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger. http://tfl.nu/1vfs
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (227)

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