Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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  (559): That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?! http://tfl.nu/5bsv
  Replies (48) Good night (1626) Bad night (2876)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

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  (704): Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered... http://tfl.nu/j2as
  Replies (44) Good night (3632) Bad night (2080)
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  (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

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  (716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today ! (1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...' http://tfl.nu/v4tn
  Replies (48) Good night (9604) Bad night (1050)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.

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  (517): I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell. http://tfl.nu/ey83
  Replies (24) Good night (3545) Bad night (2734)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

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  (509): I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good. http://tfl.nu/3e0k
  Replies (30) Good night (5135) Bad night (1965)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.

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  (513): I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here. http://tfl.nu/bgry
  Replies (11) Good night (2806) Bad night (1464)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

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  (515): hes a good boy he deserves a good blow http://tfl.nu/pix3
  Replies (92) Good night (7880) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

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  (631): do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis? http://tfl.nu/tizi
  Replies (14) Good night (3977) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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  (313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd
  Replies (12) Good night (2992) Bad night (2770)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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  (347): full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb http://tfl.nu/b13u
  Replies (1) Good night (1977) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (3146) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3894) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.

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  (+27): He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/h7su
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.

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  (302): On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better. http://tfl.nu/rs0b
  Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me

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  (516): dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me http://tfl.nu/r9vy
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (198)

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