Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2564) Bad night (723)
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  (909): View more from California

  why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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  (909): why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"? http://tfl.nu/si77
  Replies (10) Good night (3755) Bad night (639)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My balls are so social today.

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  (540): My balls are so social today. http://tfl.nu/wyah
  Replies (8) Good night (4076) Bad night (618)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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  (301): let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child." http://tfl.nu/sqg2
  Replies (18) Good night (5570) Bad night (2701)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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  (408): if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place http://tfl.nu/15wd
  Replies (33) Good night (6014) Bad night (1359)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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  (262): My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?" http://tfl.nu/j8cb
  Replies (7) Good night (4494) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero

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  (410): he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero http://tfl.nu/dyje
  Replies (8) Good night (5389) Bad night (706)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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  (608): The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too http://tfl.nu/q1xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (1722)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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  (404): Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions. http://tfl.nu/eox4
  Replies (6) Good night (1632) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan

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  (631): he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan http://tfl.nu/sol0
  Replies (19) Good night (1886) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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  (601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr
  Replies (11) Good night (1328) Bad night (575)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.

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  (316): Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though. http://tfl.nu/dlfh
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (944)
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  (714): View more from California

  Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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  (714): Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus? http://tfl.nu/oxq8
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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  (404): I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce http://tfl.nu/fuvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

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  (317): I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras... http://tfl.nu/ubf3
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (269)

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