Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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(310): View more from California

it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink

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(518): View more from New York

They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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(518): View more from New York

Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?

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(425): View more from Washington

I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face

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