We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".