Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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