How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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