if you like me you must not know who I am
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
