Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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