So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
