chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
