Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
