They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
