Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
